Friday, September 11, 2009

The Milwaukee Mile - Act IV: Scene 2

ok.... a room full of official like people sitting around at a table, having an official discussion/meeting:

aaand... Scene!

Head Officially Official Person "Ok people, what did we all get together to talk about?"

Secondary Official "I think we needed to discuss changing the butter we use on the popcorn at our annual pig race"

Thirdly Official "What!? no no no silly; we're here to discuss what to do about our go-cart track."

SO "We have a go-cart track!? That's awesome! Can I go drive my gold rimmed golf cart on it tomorrow?"

HOOP "You two are confused, that thing is just some artistically designed parking lot. It was done by some guy who was trying to pay homage to the fact that we had just entered the 20th century with a giant 0"

SO "Wow that is kind of cool, do you think we could build a mini-golf course around it?"

TO "Ooohh that'd be great, we should make sure it has big waterfalls, and one of those awesome holes where you hit the ball in a tube and don't know where it will come out on the other end"

HOOP "No no guys, thats not in the plans, I think the idea we were here to discuss was how to go about turning that parking lot into looking like a giant piece of cheese, in homage to the great cheese rush of 1972."

SO "But I thought you said it wasn't a parking lot? What next, its going to be a drive-in movie theater too?"

Citizen in Attendance "Are you people insane!? That is a racetrack! Its been here for over 100 years; we've been holding automobile races there annually, its been quite a popular place and a part of the states tradition, but its in trouble right now because the people who hold the races don't want to come back."

HOOP "Wait, it is, well that sounds kind of neat"

TO "Why don't these people want to come back to our track, are they too good for our track; well I don't want them if they are some elitist group who thinks they are too good for our cheese."

CA "They don't want to come back because you guys appointed someone who didn't have the finances to actually run the track and pay everyone the money they owe"

SO "Well what a stupid guy, he'll ruin us all by not paying these bills. However else are we coing to get these speedboats into our new lake?"

CA "There is no lake, are you people even listening? We need to come up with something to do about this whole debt issue. We can't possibly bring in the events we want if we still owe these organizations 2 million dollars; they want to come back but need to be paid for this past year first."

HOOP "My gosh, how could we let a situation like this happen, who appointed this financeless bum to run our beloved car racy thingy?"

SO "Wasn't me, was probably Brett Farve or something."

TO "It couldn't have been Brett Favre, he does no wrong, silly. I think it was you HOOP"

HOOP "Well it doesn't matter, the more important matter here is how we will get this money that needs to be paid to the horse wrangler so he can get these chariot races back where they belong."

SO "Well I think I know a guy who might have a couple bucks, I think he even once bought a used car, so he can probably even negotiate this so called debt down a little bit."

TO "I just don't know if that will be enough, we need someone who has money and can competently run this track. We don't want to lose something with.... what was it?"

CA "Over 100 years of racing!"

TO "yeah yeah, we can't lose a track with over 100 years of something-or-other. If only we knew who would be a good person to put in charge of this matter."

(Man enters room)

Mr. D. "Hi everyone, I heard there was a meeting to discuss the problems at our racetrack. My partners and I wanted to offer up our services. We are all very successful and rich guys with a bankroll of over 1 billion dollars and we all have had a very large number of success running many different businesses and ventures including ones associated with racing. I brought along here even certified letters from banks asserting that we have the financial capability to get the debt taken care of and to get the track back up and operating in a profitable manner."

HOOP "Holy wow mister! I don't believe I see a name tag, did you sign in at the door?"

Mr. D. "Ummm... No. I didn't see anywhere to sign up out there"

TO "Well you have to sign in at the front desk, its official policy."

HOOP "Yes I believe we're going to have to ask you to wait outside until we conclude our official business here sir, no meeting crashers allowed"


And if the play is a little too confusing for you, try reading the novel the play is based on.

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