You've got to check this out. A wrestling promoter, tired of the "street ball" played in the NBA, is attempting to launch a professional basketball league for white Americans ONLY.
So we have to have the racism humor right? Like, how about having a team here in Pulaski, Tennessee, the birthplace of the KKK? David Duke could have a team down in Louisiana. And if he needs a co-owner, there's always that judge who wouldn't allow interracial marriages! (Where is Furious Deuce with his great logo designs?!)
But putting the obvious racism aside... as hard as it is... how AWFUL would this league be?
When I was 15 I played in a "men's league" in my town. That was all white guys, trust me. My friend's uncle recruited us for his team because he couldn't keep five guys on the court for the whole game. (They needed cigarette and beer breaks.) But it was a lot of the guys who were high school stars 15 years before, a few that had played minor college ball. And it was terrible. I dropped 19 in one game, and I'm not very good. In another game, a guy fouled me with a minute left and my team down by three. He then yelled at the ref, and eventually got in his face and bumped him. Next thing I knew, I was taking six free throws and we won the game. Terrible basketball, I'm telling you.
Now I realize this league would be shooting for guys with better talent. White college guys just not good enough to play that damn street ball. But this Moose Lewis guy is so stupid because it's not even a race thing! I've seen white guys with ridiculous abilities and I've seen "non-whites" who couldn't dribble or shoot. I think what he really wants is to eliminate certain skills and attributes, right?
- You are not allowed to dunk.
- You must be 6'4" or shorter.
- No crossovers.
- If you attempt a no-look pass, we have to know it is inspired by Pete Maravich and not Chris Paul.
If he doesn't enforce rules like these, then eventually all hell will break loose and we'll have guys dunking on each other and stuff. Only this time, it will be white-on-white dunks! No one wants that.
(As always, I welcome comments, particularly those offering good team names, mascots, promotional giveaways, etc.)