Thursday, January 21, 2010

All-White Basketball League: Racist? Bad Basketball? Both!

You've got to check this out. A wrestling promoter, tired of the "street ball" played in the NBA, is attempting to launch a professional basketball league for white Americans ONLY.

So we have to have the racism humor right? Like, how about having a team here in Pulaski, Tennessee, the birthplace of the KKK? David Duke could have a team down in Louisiana. And if he needs a co-owner, there's always that judge who wouldn't allow interracial marriages! (Where is Furious Deuce with his great logo designs?!)

But putting the obvious racism aside... as hard as it is... how AWFUL would this league be?

When I was 15 I played in a "men's league" in my town. That was all white guys, trust me. My friend's uncle recruited us for his team because he couldn't keep five guys on the court for the whole game. (They needed cigarette and beer breaks.) But it was a lot of the guys who were high school stars 15 years before, a few that had played minor college ball. And it was terrible. I dropped 19 in one game, and I'm not very good. In another game, a guy fouled me with a minute left and my team down by three. He then yelled at the ref, and eventually got in his face and bumped him. Next thing I knew, I was taking six free throws and we won the game. Terrible basketball, I'm telling you.

Now I realize this league would be shooting for guys with better talent. White college guys just not good enough to play that damn street ball. But this Moose Lewis guy is so stupid because it's not even a race thing! I've seen white guys with ridiculous abilities and I've seen "non-whites" who couldn't dribble or shoot. I think what he really wants is to eliminate certain skills and attributes, right?

- You are not allowed to dunk.

- You must be 6'4" or shorter.

- No crossovers.

- If you attempt a no-look pass, we have to know it is inspired by Pete Maravich and not Chris Paul.

If he doesn't enforce rules like these, then eventually all hell will break loose and we'll have guys dunking on each other and stuff. Only this time, it will be white-on-white dunks! No one wants that.

(As always, I welcome comments, particularly those offering good team names, mascots, promotional giveaways, etc.)

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Anonymous said...


Mike said...

Great suggestion!

The SpeedGeek said...

Hmmm, II's got a point. Lots of 'em! Ha!!11!!!

Sorry. I was just going to say that if the league turns into white-on-white dunking, then Shawn Bradley HAS to be involved.

Mike said...

I don't know if I like the sound of that. I suggest starting your OWN league for white guys named Shawn. That will keep things fair.

ARaceAgainstTime said...

There is demand for a family-friendly alternative to the NBA.

Mike said...

A demand from racists? OK. They'd also demand schools be segregated again. In fact, laws are the only thing keeping blatant racism hidden. So you guys support ideas like these, calling them "family friendly alternatives."

I teach a number of minority children. 100% of them are family friendly. It's insane, I know, but it's like you'd never even know their skin was a different color.

I've been to NBA games. They were always more "family friendly" than NFL and NHL games.

Face it: the idea is terrible, not due to its racist roots, but because it will lead to boring, sub-par displays of basketball. I would rather watch a junior high game.

At this point, I would have more respect for anyone supporting this idea if you just came out and said, "I hate blacks and don't want them in our league." Hiding behind the "family friendly" mask is beyond cowardly.