Is there a prize for making a post at the most remote time? (Local, of course. Shane is disqualified.)
Hey, where's Hobbson at? I wanted to tell him that the venomous caribou I sent for him got held up at the border, but he hasn't shown his face. Probably some BS line about how he's got a new baby or something.
And what about Tony Johns? Dude makes a post about not being drunk yet and then vanishes into the ether. I expected him to have resurfaced by now slurring nonsense about Dario reheating poutine underneath his kilt. Maybe we should send a search party.
I'm just glad no one invited that Flying Cocksman guy. He's nothing but trouble.
Why did the developers of Mario Kart think that blue shells were in any way fair or a good idea? It makes leading a race for anything but the last five seconds a major disadvantage. (Though I got caught more often tonight by the lightning-bolt-while-jumping-a-chasm trap.)
Speaking of racing, isn't there some really long, real-life race happening tonight? I vaguely recall hearing something about it. I wonder how it's going. Oh, well.. it can't be that important. According to SPEED, it's NONE OF OUR BUSINESS.
Anyway, back to dreamland. (Or, Back Home Agaaaaaaaaain in Indiaaaaaanaaaaaaaa...)