Sunday, January 27, 2013

New Orleans Pelicans: Alternative Names

So if you think the Pelicans is not a good choice for a team mascot, there are other options. While the team apparently also considered names like the Mosquitoes and the Swamp Dogs, I have some other ideas that would have also been appropriate.

1. New Orleans Politicians - You'd get a lot of wins by forfeits with this name. Opponents would know for a fact that this is a dirty, corrupt team, and no one would want to come play them.

2. New Orleans Seafood - It's the best. Like our basketball team (should be).

3. New Orleans Floods - You don't think this sounds intimidating? You should take your most cherished belongings, including any family pictures that might not be backed up digitally, and place them on the first floor of any home in the flood zones for an entire hurricane season. Your stuff might be fine! You never know. Of course, Tulane knows what's up and grabbed the Green Wave a long time ago. But it's actually more of a Muddy Brown Wave.

4. New Orleans Daiquiris - You can't possibly imagine how great it is to drive up to a little aluminum shack and be handed a delicious frozen alcoholic beverage without even getting out of your car. Fast food for fun people, that's what it is. And now I want one. This could be the coolest team name in the history of sports.

5. New Orleans Jazz - Oh wait...

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